Back to Normal in the (St.) Nick of Time

I have been ill over the weekend.

On Saturday lunchtime, I made the easy decision to enjoy some Heinz Original Sandwich Spread. It was an easy decision because I have only two bread spreads in the cupboard.

Anyone who has opened a jar of sandwich spread and given the contents a whiff will know that the contents naturally have a strong vinegary odour. It was only after I had finished the admittedly odd tasting sandwich that I elected to re-sniff the contents. By following this scientific process, my gurning facial  expressions led me to conclude that the otherwise healthy and delicious contents were going off.

Arguably, this was entirely my own fault. The label helpfully advises that after opening, you store it in a refrigerator. This is not something I’ve ever had a problem with in the past. Indeed, I usually store things in the fridge that don’t even need refrigerating. But with this jar, I threw caution to the food storage wind. Consequently I threw the toxic jar in the bin.

By late afternoon, my stomach was feeling a little unsettled,  but okay. At this point, only the most appalling choice of foodstuff or beverage would make matters worse. I was doomed.

Destined to always choose the worse dish available, my dinner consisted of a burger and chips from the local chicken place. The different people behind the counter should have been my clue to go somewhere else. Yet this tried and trusted purveyor of unhealthy yet excellent value fast food. How bad could it be?

After the first bite of their usually delicious burger, something was wrong. What it was I couldn’t be sure, but it wasn’t going down well. Maybe it had been undercooked? Maybe I was eating it wrongly? Whatever it was didn’t want to stay down for long. The meal then proceeded to ruin a lovely evening with a marathon of puking and wretching in to the early morning. To answer the question I am sure you are wandering, yes, this does not look good when you have a date with you.
My questions to you are these:
Who was to blame for this weekend culinary fiasco?
And what would you have done differently had you been in my situation?

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